I Was Young, I Needed the Money
by emotionless-robot
Summary: Challenge fic from Expired In Goreville. "Um, why are Tai and Davis putting cream cheese on each other and dancing on a pole?"


This is a challenge fic from **Expired In Goreville** that I got... a while ago... and I only just finished it. Anyways, it was a pretty great one at that, and I hope it meets her standards for awesome-ness XD Posting the requirements for this challenge would only ruin the surprise, so I will refrain from doing so.

Disclaimer on profile.

* * *

Sora giggled as Yolei and Mimi pulled relentlessly on her arm.

"No, you guys, I am NOT going into a strip-club!"

Mimi and Yolei giggled as well, having had a few drinks already, but they would not let go of their friend's arm. Kari came up then, idly asking what all the fuss was about.

"Sora doesn't want to go in." Mimi pouted. "It's her bachelorette party, and she doesn't even _want_ to party."

"That's not true!" Sora protested. "I do want to party!"

"Then quit complaining, and let's go already! We're wasting precious time!"

Yolei dragged the grumbling girl through the doors of the club, and into the depths of the masses. Mimi and Kari followed behind them; chatting about the upcoming wedding and how lucky Sora was to have snagged the infamous Yamato Ishida.

"He _so_ wanted me." Mimi slurred lightly, leaning against Kari. "I could just tell."

Kari sighed in response, "He was always nice to me. I think that's what I like most about him. Sora is incredibly fortunate to have such a sweet guy."

"Are you serious?" the slightly drunken Mimi said skeptically. "_That's_ what you like best about him? Not his hot body or those gorgeous locks of perfect hair, or even his rockstar status? You like his _niceness_?"

"Well, yeah." Kari answered innocently.

Mimi rolled her eyes and plopped down at the table where Yolei and Sora were bickering over who got to throw money at the dancers.

"It's my special night, Yolei, so it's my job to do!"

"You didn't even want to come here, Sora! Let someone who _wants_ to be here do it!"

"Who said I didn't want to be here? Maybe I changed my mind!"

"Ladies, ladies," Mimi intervened, "we can all take turns, alright? Now, let's get us some drinks over here!" She slammed her hand on the table vociferously, successfully ending that debate.

Hours later, the four girls were nothing but a drunken mess. Most of their money was gone, from spending it on the alcoholic beverages and from throwing it mercilessly at the strippers. In truth, Yolei had thrown the most because she had obstinately refused to give up the wad of bills several times and had to be tackled ruthlessly in order to allow someone else a chance.

By now, the wasted female Digidestined were almost ready to go home. Kari could barely keep her head up she was so sleepy, Yolei was rowdier than ever (a worrisome occurrence), Mimi flirted with any guy that passed by their table and Sora _could not_ stop laughing.

Kari started to gather up their purses and coats groggily when the announcer bellowed loudly, "And now for the main event you've all been waiting for!" The cheering became overwhelming with loud cat-calls and clapping galore. Kari sat back down drowsily, intrigued as to what could have brought on such a strong reaction from the crowd.

Silhouettes appeared from behind the curtain, and the roaring turned deafening.

"HERE YOU HAVE IT LADIES! COCO SWALLOWS AND GENERAL BUBBLES HAVE ARRIVED!"

Yolei shouted madly and stood on the table, ready for more action. Her hand fisted over what was left of the money, and she prepared to launch it at the newcomers as soon as they appeared from behind the curtain. As the drapes drew back and the figures were revealed, Yolei's eyes widened in shock and she lost her already unequal balance, causing her to fall ungracefully off the table and onto the floor.

However, no one offered to help the shocked girl, as they were too busy being astonished themselves.

Up on the stage, Tai and Davis, under the aliases of "Coco Swallows" and "General Bubbles" were clothed in nothing but furry banana hammocks, and what appeared to be flimsy loincloths over top. Sora bellowed with laughter, tears running down her face as she bent to help Yolei off the ground. Kari woke up considerably as her scantily clad brother drew near to the pole in the center of the stage and Mimi purred her drunken approval at the boys and she joined in the cat-calling.

"Hello, ladies." Davis said seductively into the microphone. Someone's sequined bra was randomly thrown at his feet, and he picked it up, saying, "Who does _this_ belong to?"

A girlish shriek answered his call and he threw it in the general direction of the squeal, along with a wink. Kari could practically hear the swooning from her vantage point. A slow, seductive beat pulsed through the speakers, temporarily drowning out any more cheering.

The boys began their routine, full of gyrating hips and sexy smirks. Davis's flexibility was demonstrated when he performed the splits right on stage, without a single whimper of unease. They shimmied and swayed together, captivating their audience effortlessly. Their intense faces made them all that much more appealing, and the members of the bachelorette party could now understand why Coco Swallows and General Bubbles were the main event this evening.

And when Tai and Davis ripped off each other's loincloths, a collective admiring sigh echoed throughout the sweaty, stifling room. Mimi and Yolei were certainly feeling the effects of the heat as they continued to cheer and undo a few more buttons on their shirts—anything to feel a breeze sweep across their skin and cool them down.

Sora maintained her giggling composure as she swiftly snatched the money Yolei had left over, and shoved it down the front of Tai's banana hammock when he drew near to their table. Coco Swallows, who hadn't noticed the girls before then, gave them a vaguely stunned wink and went back over to Davis to lean over and whisper something in his ear while still dancing sexily. General Bubbles smirked and grabbed the microphone eagerly.

The pounding music drifted off as Davis spoke, "Before Coco Swallows and I finish our routine and head off for the night, we'd like to say congratulations to our good friend Sora," a spotlight immediately swept across the floor, landing on a sniggering Sora, "who is getting married tomorrow!"

The crowd cheered for her expressively, and she grew pink, like the blushing bride she would be.

A slower beat then throbbed from the amplified speakers as Coco Swallows and General Bubbles finished their choreographed routine.

Kari leaned over to Mimi and asked naively, "Uh, why are Davis and Tai putting cream cheese on each other and dancing on a pole?"

"It's part of their routine, duh." Mimi replied.

"I know _that_," Kari retorted, "but why _cream cheese_?"

Mimi simply shrugged and went back to ogling the boys as they, in fact, rubbed cream cheese all over each other's bodies. The crowd absorbed it all up, as if it was the most erotic thing ever to watch male strippers get smothered in dairy products.

Moments later, Coco Swallows and General Bubbles concluded their piece with a bang, and headed off. The girls wanted to go see their male-stripper friends, but no one was being allowed backstage. They waited and waited, but Tai and Davis never appeared. Eventually, another one of the dancers came out with a handwritten note Tai had left them. It read:

_Dear Females,_

_While we appreciate your contribution to our funds, we must decline ever speaking to you about this incident in public. We prefer to remain anonymous here at the club, and it would not serve our purposes for anyone to know of our extracurricular activities._

_We hope you understand our concerns, and we look forward to meeting with you again._

_Sincerely,_

_Tai_

_P.S. It was all Davis's idea anyway._

Sora chuckled and shoved the paper in her bra for safekeeping. She turned to her friends, saying, "Let's go girls… the night's not over yet!" She gasped and offered, "I know! Let's go skinny dipping!!" Sora bent over suddenly, clutching her sides as she laughed maniacally.

"We'd need a pool for that to happen, Sora." Kari pointed out like a true genius.

"Stop being such a spoilsport, Kari. Who needs a pool to go _skinny dipping_?"

Sora's eyesight wavered, unfocused, and she swayed in the mild breeze of the nighttime air. Her head drooped accordingly and Kari rushed forward to support her.

"I think it's time to go home." Kari suggested.

As the four of them began their trek homewards, Mimi and Yolei brought up the rear as they started humming the wedding march, their combined voices floating softly through the atmosphere, and into the night.

* * *

And there you have it. Reviews are appreciated. Thanks!


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